Thursday, July 22, 2010

Me, standing there and moving..............

It is July, almost half of the year. Too many things happened lately. The LOST and the TRUTH. As i said "Dis is all dugaan untuk kita lebih dekat dengan-Nya" Time flies by, too fast which sometimes i could not cope wif it. Dear Allah, thanx for everything, u alwiz there watching me. All my ups n downs, and laughs and cries at the same time. But, as i turned, u alwiz be there, by my side without neglecting or leaving me. Then i realized, i am the one who alwiz disregard u, plz forgive me....

I remembered when i turned to be charming to forgive every single mistake from the past. But, no more. No more. Da dark past, juz let it be into da darkness. I won't remember n forgive it. Sorry, i'm ~Freezing~. Because sometimes I may feel forgiveness is so invaluable and juz let it be. U juz want to be nice to others, but when dey put their shit on u, and u r trying harder to clean it. It sounds so pathetic. Dun u ever step on the shit back, but juz kick it aside. Even, "unfortunately" u might step on it again. Juz drag urself and clean urself instead of da shit.... 

This is the only chance i have. I won't give in and turn back to the past ANYMORE. It sucks me if i do so, bcoz i feel like i'm moving nowhere.  Luckily i realize, de only i have is Him. Who never forget to guide me to His path.

I know da diagnosis, which actually i may feel a little scare to face it. Facing the truth. Even, dey decided for an operation once. Strictly, i put my objection on it. Juz give me an ample time of life. To achieve what i haven't. 50% chances is like, "NO, thank you". Enough for being hurt inside, but please dun hurt me physically. Because, all this strength i keep juz to make others strong too.

Juz pray everything fine with ur smiles :))

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